Unveiling Gender Norms: Empowering Girls for a New Era

In my years as a psychologist, I've observed a concerning trend: Women, especially mothers, are shouldering an overwhelming burden of burnout. It's like there's an unspoken manual handed to us from birth, loaded with contradictory expectations. This manual reads, "You must be sweet and accommodating, but also land a competitive job. Have babies and breastfeed until they are two, yet only get 10 weeks of maternity leave. Don’t ‘put out’ but don’t be a prude. Look beautiful but don’t wear too much makeup." No wonder women are burnt out.

So, what are these sneaky dynamics that creep through the cracks of society, plaguing women with depression, anxiety, and unattainable expectations? They are none other than gender norms. Gender norms are the unspoken rules society imposes on us based on gender, affecting everything from family dynamics to work, education, and social interactions. It's a script women have been handed for generations.

I often hear from older generations of women, “Men are so involved now. You have it much better than I did.” And yes, it’s true; things are much better for women now. Before the roaring 20s, women couldn’t even vote. And Black women couldn’t vote until 1965 - how crazy is that?! Despite immense change, why do so many women still feel the weight of the world on their shoulders, and why are older generations wrestling with internalized depression and anxiety?

Let's look at the facts. Women are twice as likely to be diagnosed with anxiety disorders, are 32% more likely to experience burnout, and still earn 82 cents for every dollar earned by men. And 86% of working women say they handle all of the family and household responsibilities. Something is wrong with this picture. 

Recognizing the disproportionate levels of burnout experienced by women and teen girls in my practice has fueled a fire within me to advocate for change. And where does this change start? Right in our homes, with our daughters.

Here’s a call to action: partner with your daughter to challenge outdated expectations for women. Share your experiences, ask about hers, and dive into conversations about all things gender. Discuss the progress we've made and what still lingers between our generations. Include all family members in this dialogue. Talk about it all.

But talking alone won't cut it. We need to model gender equality for our children. We can challenge stereotypes by distributing household chores that defy expectations. Encourage your son to fold laundry and empower your daughter to handle outdoor tasks. Introduce her to diverse role models who have shattered the glass ceiling, both in history and today.

Let's empower our daughters to recognize and defy these outdated norms. We can rewrite the script and work towards a world where burnout is not the norm for women. It's about passing down strength, resilience, and the belief that our daughters can be anything they want to be without limitations.

In Partnership with Hurdles in Heels